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10 commandments for dating a Texas woman
1. Thou shalt never assume she’s a stereotype.
Yes, she grew up in the south. No, she’s not one to wear Daisy Dukes and bend over as she’s fixing her radiator. One thing’s for sure: if you keep trying to make sure she meets your unrealistic standards, you won’t be dating very long.
2. Thou shalt not mess with her long hair.
“The longer the hair, the closer to god.” — or so the saying goes. True or not, despite the searing summer heat, Texas has an inordinate number of women who prefer their hair past their shoulders.
3. Thou shalt nurture her appetite.
You’ll know she’s a keeper if she suggests Torchy’s for lunch and orders as many tacos as you; or wants to stop in Llano or West on a road trip. What’s the point of living in the Lone Star State if you can’t share all its food with someone special?
4. Thou shalt not keep her inside all summer.
It’s tempting to wait out the Texas summer in the air conditioning while snuggling under a blanket. If you’re going to date a Texas girl, be prepared to put up with the heat, because she’s going to revel in it, soaking in all the sunshine she can before the temperature drops to 50 in October.
5. Thou shalt learn everything about Texas.
Remember the Alamo. Clap after you hear “deep in the heart of Texas!” Know the difference between the Texan and Chilean flags. When did Texas become a state? You can’t expect to endear yourself to a Texas girl without some essential knowledge.
6. Thou shall give her Sundays for football.
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Any Texas woman worth her salt won’t just be supporting her boyfriend when the Longhorns score, but gathering friends and cheering even louder. Just work your time together around football. Everyone else in Texas does.
7. Thou shalt hand her a beer before wine.
Just because it’s hot doesn’t mean all women in Texas are sitting on the porch sipping chilled chardonnay. She grew up learning the virtues of Texas beer. Frozen margaritas also work.
8. Thou shalt praise her boots.
Texas women have a way of pulling off casually wearing boots better than any man, and no one is exactly sure why.
9. Thou shall not compare her to other beautiful Texans.
Our state has some really attractive people, and they’re not new to the flirting game’s corny smiles and chivalry. Whether you’re interested in Texas boys or girls, there’s always going to be competition.
10. Thou shalt let her fight her own battles.
Texas women are proud, strong, and not afraid of getting their hands dirty. As chivalrous as it may be to defend her honor, she’s more than capable of successfully making her way in this world alone. Just be happy she wants you with her as she does.
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